Birthdays

Well, today is the start of my 21st year here on planet earth. *does a little dance* So I guess it's time to think about life. First off, you should have seen me an hour ago. Wow was that a crazy experience. Let's just say I was finally able to let go of some very pent up emotions. Which is a good thing I guess.

Basically I am here today to ask a question. What is so special about birthdays? I mean we are born, and from that day our days our numbered. Sure it is a good thing to celebrate that you made it through another year of life, but is it just not the same as laughing at someone? By noticing I am 21 I am noticing the lack of accomplishment. I look around me and what do I see? I see a lack of knowledge and understanding. By this point in life I wanted to be able to understand mathematics at least. I wanted to be able to pick up a math textbook and actually be able to casually read it and follow it along, which I can't do. I wanted to be able to come up with proofs for theorems, and for this I still need help. I wanted to begin my study on philosophy and what makes up the world and for that I have only read one text. I wanted to be teaching children mathematics and already able to help them understand basic concepts, and I am still at least 2 years away from that goal. I feel like I have all these accomplishments waiting to happen but not enough time to do it, and I already feel behind.

By now most of my 'smart' colleagues have already watched all the episodes of star trek and have read all the star wars books. The stories they used to read in middle school I am just picking up. I have over 10 years of knowledge to catch up on, and thats just the beginning. I mean where do I go from here, and what more am I to accomplish? There are so many unanswered questions and I hoped that by now all of this would have been settled. I am already in the stage in my life where I am seriously considering having children. I don't know. I feel so mature and yet so behind.

What do you do when all you want to do in life is catch up with everyone around you just so that you can eventually get ahead and get somewhere?

That is why I don't like birthdays. It is another slap in the face telling you that you are still losing the war in knowledge. Maybe one day I will catch up. Maybe I will one day hopefully accomplish my one goal in life. Maybe... But for today, I just ask for more knowledge for my birthday.

Unknowingly yours,
Aram the Garmo