So I can't get to work for the life of me so instead I am writing a dilema that I am in.
As of right now I have 3 main options as to what to do with my life in order to become a teacher. The issue is, I don't know which one of the three is the best one for me to take. Some I am being forced not to take, due to the fact of me not knowing what to do, while others I don't want to take, but may need to.
1) Go straight into teaching. This of course is the simplest one to explain. I personally would not mind this idea and seems to be the most prominent one that I have. This is difficult for me because this means that I would need to find a school in the UK that is willing to hire me, in an area that I like. This is difficult because I don't know the UK very well, like my English counterparts do. I don't know that essex is not going to be the best place to teach. I don't know where are nice areas to live, and I don't really have the money to go and see other places in order to make my decision. The hiring part cannot be too difficult due to the fact that they are looking for maths teachers, but I wonder if I will get paid less if I am not qualified. I could also take this option until I can afford to go and get my qualification, or find a way to qualify myself during the nights. Those are options here.
2) Go to a PGCE programme here in the UK and get qualified. In order to do this I unfortunately need money though. I would need to pay the 9,000 GBP tuition that is required in order to go there. This is not including the rent and food and everything. Basically, I would go into crazy amounts of debt in order to achieve this. There is a slight possibility that I may get a grant/scholarship since I am trying to be a teacher, but the chances are slim since I'm international. Like this I could study in Leeds, but again would not be able to look around and see where would be the best places to live and such. During this time I will also have to get a job so I am not completely broke, and will also mean I have to start paying back my loans to the states, which is extra debt in the UK.
3) Go into a Teacher Credentialling programme in the states. There is a problem with this one also. Since I am over here it is difficult for me to get my hands on the information needed to get into grad school. I need 3 letters of recommendation, and also I apparently need to take the GRE. Being in England makes it difficult to take the GRE. The next one is actually on the 3rd of November, but I am too late to sign up for that one. The one after that is in April, which would be too late for Grad school applications. Also, in order to get the CSET exemption I would need to get into grad school this coming year, or else I need to take the CSET, which is a $210 exam which you are almost guaranteed to fail the first time, and there are almost no study guides out there to help you pass it. So I could wait a year and do it then.
Now most of this sounds almost impossible, but there is a plan to make numbers 2 and 3 much more reasonable and doable. If I were to take a gap year next year and just do work for a whole year, I could potentially save up to $7,000 in one year. (This is assuming a $40,000 a year job with expenses as follows: $1,000 rent a month, $300 a month for food, $500 a month for personal expenses, $1,000 per month for loan repayment). So after one year the $7,000 would be more than enough to finance my next year at a UC school. I would also have all of that year to take and retake the CSET exam until I pass it. I could also end up taking that $7,000 and go and study in England. The money would pay off my housing, and I could easily get loans and such to afford my tuition (Assuming I get no scholarships).
So that is my dilema basically. Do I take a chance and try and turn in an application for UC Davis grad school, do I take a year off and work to save money, or do I go straight into teaching without knowing anything?
[Note: $40,000 a year was based off the fact of: $20/hour income working 40 hours per week. This may not seem doable, but remember I would be willing to take up 2 or 3 jobs in order to make the 40,000 a year. I could also end up working for agilent for a year and make a salary. I could also be an accountant for a year and make money that way. I could also decrease spending by living at my parents house during this time (even though I don't think they would want me to live there, and it would also take away my californian status).]
So the battle has begun. Which crazy scenario will Aram pick?
Confuzzled beyond belief,
Aram the Garmo
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
What would you do for your family?
As I move further away I only notice one huge thing, my family. For some reason I always comprimise my family for my wants. I do what I want and let my family fend for themselves in essence.
I firts noticed this in middle school when I was given an option, stay home with friends or go up north with relatives. Basically it was a weekend a long time ago where I was given the choice of staying home so that I can go bowling with Dan on Sunday, or I could ride up north to San Jose to go to my "cousin's" graduation party. I of course, stupidly, chose to stay at home with my friends. When my parents got back they showed me the wonderful time they had and I regretted it. I had chosen friends over family, and that is not how I wanted it to be.
Yet again though I am doing another faulty line and I had to travel all the way to England to realise it. I am choosing myself over family. Yes, in an American world that is completely ok and is normal. It is the I culture. But, like I tell everyone else, I am not American, I am Armenian and I do not like being a part of the I culture. That is in essence sort of why I left. I was trying to find somewhere where it wasn't all about the self. All about me me me. It wasn't until I got here that I realised that I had fallen into the American trap. I was only thinking about myself. I never thought about what this action would do to my family. I never intended to hurt my family in the process, yet that is all I have done.
I recently have realised what I am doing to my family. My mother is completely torn that I have left her. She can now barely walk and move around. She has to see a chiropracter once a week, and it's even gotten to the point where she is undergoing something called a ph treatement. It's something like her going in twice a week and having them do some treatement for her back so she doesn't feel pain anymore. And I seriously believe that it is due to me. Her life was ok before I left. She didn't have back problems, she was leading a normal and healthy life. All her problems began the day that I left. She also deeply misses me and wants me to come back home. She even says that she misses my "smily face." I mean how can you say no to that!
And then my brother is another person in need. Although we may always argue and fight I truly, deeply love him. And I may not say that to him very often, but I know he knows that, or at least I hope he does. And I also blame my leaving for his tragedies. He has no guidance in life. He doesn't know where to go or what to do. He has his mother and father both yelling at him to do certain things and they won't let him do the one thing he wants. He needs an older brother to stand up for him and help him, and I can't do that from far away. I have failed in helping my younger brother. I have failed in protecting him.
And so this brings me to once question, what can I do about all of this? Can I just drop everything I want and change my whole life for my family? Can I give up my dreams of living in Europe? Can I give up my dreams of being a teacher? Can I give up my rights as a citizen to go and live in a second rate country with a crappy political system? Can I change my job so quickly and adapt to a new lifestyle? Can I grow up so fast that everyone will think that I am 40? Can I be there for my family?
I hope my answer will be yes.
I am now seriously thinking about getting an accounting job that pays over 100k and moving to the states so that I can always see my mother and have the money to afford helping my brother. I don't know if I will end up doing this, but as of now, my plans for my future have changed.
What would you do for your family?
Signed,
Aram the Garmo
I firts noticed this in middle school when I was given an option, stay home with friends or go up north with relatives. Basically it was a weekend a long time ago where I was given the choice of staying home so that I can go bowling with Dan on Sunday, or I could ride up north to San Jose to go to my "cousin's" graduation party. I of course, stupidly, chose to stay at home with my friends. When my parents got back they showed me the wonderful time they had and I regretted it. I had chosen friends over family, and that is not how I wanted it to be.
Yet again though I am doing another faulty line and I had to travel all the way to England to realise it. I am choosing myself over family. Yes, in an American world that is completely ok and is normal. It is the I culture. But, like I tell everyone else, I am not American, I am Armenian and I do not like being a part of the I culture. That is in essence sort of why I left. I was trying to find somewhere where it wasn't all about the self. All about me me me. It wasn't until I got here that I realised that I had fallen into the American trap. I was only thinking about myself. I never thought about what this action would do to my family. I never intended to hurt my family in the process, yet that is all I have done.
I recently have realised what I am doing to my family. My mother is completely torn that I have left her. She can now barely walk and move around. She has to see a chiropracter once a week, and it's even gotten to the point where she is undergoing something called a ph treatement. It's something like her going in twice a week and having them do some treatement for her back so she doesn't feel pain anymore. And I seriously believe that it is due to me. Her life was ok before I left. She didn't have back problems, she was leading a normal and healthy life. All her problems began the day that I left. She also deeply misses me and wants me to come back home. She even says that she misses my "smily face." I mean how can you say no to that!
And then my brother is another person in need. Although we may always argue and fight I truly, deeply love him. And I may not say that to him very often, but I know he knows that, or at least I hope he does. And I also blame my leaving for his tragedies. He has no guidance in life. He doesn't know where to go or what to do. He has his mother and father both yelling at him to do certain things and they won't let him do the one thing he wants. He needs an older brother to stand up for him and help him, and I can't do that from far away. I have failed in helping my younger brother. I have failed in protecting him.
And so this brings me to once question, what can I do about all of this? Can I just drop everything I want and change my whole life for my family? Can I give up my dreams of living in Europe? Can I give up my dreams of being a teacher? Can I give up my rights as a citizen to go and live in a second rate country with a crappy political system? Can I change my job so quickly and adapt to a new lifestyle? Can I grow up so fast that everyone will think that I am 40? Can I be there for my family?
I hope my answer will be yes.
I am now seriously thinking about getting an accounting job that pays over 100k and moving to the states so that I can always see my mother and have the money to afford helping my brother. I don't know if I will end up doing this, but as of now, my plans for my future have changed.
What would you do for your family?
Signed,
Aram the Garmo
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Weather
Back for my second post of the evening! This topic will be about the weather so far in England.
A lot of people have this weird idea that the weather here in England is disgusting. There is this idea that it is always raining and just always depressing. I actually find the exact opposite. The weather here is so intriguing. You wake up in the morning and look at the weather forecast and then you trash the report you just read because it means absolutely nothing. A rainy day could mean 2 drops of rain, and a sunny day could mean the exact same thing. So since the weather is so unpredictable you always walk around with an umbrella just in case rain came in.
Another wonderful aspect about the weather is the clouds. In California the clouds almost didn't move. They stayed in place and created beautiful pictures in the sky. Over here the clouds move so fast it is amazing. It's as if the clouds have somewhere to go and they are in a rush to get there. I also like the way the clouds move. Since they are moving so fast it is an amazing site to see. One minute it is completely cloudy outside. Then you walk through a mall and by the time you walk to the other side the clouds have all disappeared and it is suddenly a hot sunny day. I find it amazing.
I will agree that it is pretty cold, but you get used to it. Within a couple of days I was used to the weather over here.
I think that is all about weather. Pictures are coming soon. I am waiting for a day that I am not dying and the weather outside turns out good AND I don't have classes in order to take pictures. So far I have pictures of my room. You can view them here:
http://s71.photobucket.com/albums/i143/crazyinsanoman/Clarence%20Dock%20-%20my%20room/
Freezing his bum off,
Aram the Garmo
A lot of people have this weird idea that the weather here in England is disgusting. There is this idea that it is always raining and just always depressing. I actually find the exact opposite. The weather here is so intriguing. You wake up in the morning and look at the weather forecast and then you trash the report you just read because it means absolutely nothing. A rainy day could mean 2 drops of rain, and a sunny day could mean the exact same thing. So since the weather is so unpredictable you always walk around with an umbrella just in case rain came in.
Another wonderful aspect about the weather is the clouds. In California the clouds almost didn't move. They stayed in place and created beautiful pictures in the sky. Over here the clouds move so fast it is amazing. It's as if the clouds have somewhere to go and they are in a rush to get there. I also like the way the clouds move. Since they are moving so fast it is an amazing site to see. One minute it is completely cloudy outside. Then you walk through a mall and by the time you walk to the other side the clouds have all disappeared and it is suddenly a hot sunny day. I find it amazing.
I will agree that it is pretty cold, but you get used to it. Within a couple of days I was used to the weather over here.
I think that is all about weather. Pictures are coming soon. I am waiting for a day that I am not dying and the weather outside turns out good AND I don't have classes in order to take pictures. So far I have pictures of my room. You can view them here:
http://s71.photobucket.com/albums/i143/crazyinsanoman/Clarence%20Dock%20-%20my%20room/
Freezing his bum off,
Aram the Garmo
Christmas
This is a first of a couple of posts that I should be making tonight. This one is going to be about my frustrations over my vacation planning.
So as it has been made aware, I was initially planning to have 3 different vacation schemes throughout the year in order to visit all the places I wished to go. During December I was going to travel Southern Europe. During March I was to travel the UK. During June I was going to travel Northern Europe. This was my initial plan, until travesty hit.
About a week ago I began realising that I had financial issues. I was running out of money, and fast. I needed to come up with a way to see how much I was allowed to spend. So I looked at my budget and calculated the amount of money I currently have and divided it up by 38 weeks. I had around $4,500 to spend for 38 weeks. This was around 2,250 GBP (The input area won't let me do the pound symbol). Which meant for around 59 GBP per week, which is really good. I could handle that, and then the big picture came in. When was I planning to travel, and to where, and how much was this going to cost. I needed to figure out my vacation plans.
It quickly became obvious that the money I had would not go far. I couldn't survive if I had 3 different vacations. I would be so poor they would end up kicking me out of the halls. So I thought hard about it and came up with a plan to do all of my Europe travels in June and go home for christmas time. In March I planned on just hanging around and not doing much, probably go to the library here and such.
I decided to travel in June because earlier my mom had been talking about how she wanted me home for christmas, and so I thought that like this I could go and visit her for christmas and do my vacationing plans.
So I sat and planned the places I wanted to go and around how much the cost would be if I were to go there. I first made a list of the places I wanted to go: Barcelona, Madrid, Paris, Rome, Venice, Athens, Helsinki, Stockholm. Those were my 8 choices if I had to narrow it down. So then I calculated expected costs. 630 GBP for travelling, 300 GBP for food, 300 GBP for hostels. That ended up with a grand total of $2,500 for travelling just in June.
So then I took the $2,500 out of my finances, and looked at my new budget. I took 4 weeks out for christmas, and 4 weeks out for Europe, so my budget was only over 30 weeks now. This didn't help much because now my weekly income was a grand total of 33 GBP. And for anyone who isn't living in England, only having 33 GBP a week for food/mobile/laundry/and the occasional luxury, 33 doesn't even begin to cut it. But I knew I had to manage.
All of my plans have recently changed due to an idea my mom has had. She has now come to the conclusion that she doesn't want me to go home for christmas. She would much rather have me travel and would be willing to pay for my expenses for me to travel in Europe instead of going home. This is a curius idea since it was my step dad who asked her to do it. She is of course hurting since she hasn't seen me in forever and my stepdad thinks that she needs to learn to let go of me and let me live my life. So she is trying that by not seeing me.
Now this is tragic since I was very excited to go and see her over christmas. I really want to go to her for christmas and spend a little time with her. So now she wants me to go travelling instead and I don't know what to do. Do I go against her wishes and go and see her during christmas or do I just travel Europe without her? Yes it is a fact that most students are very excited to leave their families behind and never see them again, but I recently saw a TV show that has changed my mind. I was watching Queer as Folk (UK version) and saw how Nathan's mom was so hurt by Nathan leaving her and so I figured that is how my mom is feeling, and I suddenly felt horrible for leaving. Is it sad that I feel bad for following my own path because it hurts my mother?
So that is my current dillema, do I choose christmas with mother against her wishes, or do I go to europe and travel and by doing so not seeing my mom until June.
Inquisitively,
Aram the Garmo
So as it has been made aware, I was initially planning to have 3 different vacation schemes throughout the year in order to visit all the places I wished to go. During December I was going to travel Southern Europe. During March I was to travel the UK. During June I was going to travel Northern Europe. This was my initial plan, until travesty hit.
About a week ago I began realising that I had financial issues. I was running out of money, and fast. I needed to come up with a way to see how much I was allowed to spend. So I looked at my budget and calculated the amount of money I currently have and divided it up by 38 weeks. I had around $4,500 to spend for 38 weeks. This was around 2,250 GBP (The input area won't let me do the pound symbol). Which meant for around 59 GBP per week, which is really good. I could handle that, and then the big picture came in. When was I planning to travel, and to where, and how much was this going to cost. I needed to figure out my vacation plans.
It quickly became obvious that the money I had would not go far. I couldn't survive if I had 3 different vacations. I would be so poor they would end up kicking me out of the halls. So I thought hard about it and came up with a plan to do all of my Europe travels in June and go home for christmas time. In March I planned on just hanging around and not doing much, probably go to the library here and such.
I decided to travel in June because earlier my mom had been talking about how she wanted me home for christmas, and so I thought that like this I could go and visit her for christmas and do my vacationing plans.
So I sat and planned the places I wanted to go and around how much the cost would be if I were to go there. I first made a list of the places I wanted to go: Barcelona, Madrid, Paris, Rome, Venice, Athens, Helsinki, Stockholm. Those were my 8 choices if I had to narrow it down. So then I calculated expected costs. 630 GBP for travelling, 300 GBP for food, 300 GBP for hostels. That ended up with a grand total of $2,500 for travelling just in June.
So then I took the $2,500 out of my finances, and looked at my new budget. I took 4 weeks out for christmas, and 4 weeks out for Europe, so my budget was only over 30 weeks now. This didn't help much because now my weekly income was a grand total of 33 GBP. And for anyone who isn't living in England, only having 33 GBP a week for food/mobile/laundry/and the occasional luxury, 33 doesn't even begin to cut it. But I knew I had to manage.
All of my plans have recently changed due to an idea my mom has had. She has now come to the conclusion that she doesn't want me to go home for christmas. She would much rather have me travel and would be willing to pay for my expenses for me to travel in Europe instead of going home. This is a curius idea since it was my step dad who asked her to do it. She is of course hurting since she hasn't seen me in forever and my stepdad thinks that she needs to learn to let go of me and let me live my life. So she is trying that by not seeing me.
Now this is tragic since I was very excited to go and see her over christmas. I really want to go to her for christmas and spend a little time with her. So now she wants me to go travelling instead and I don't know what to do. Do I go against her wishes and go and see her during christmas or do I just travel Europe without her? Yes it is a fact that most students are very excited to leave their families behind and never see them again, but I recently saw a TV show that has changed my mind. I was watching Queer as Folk (UK version) and saw how Nathan's mom was so hurt by Nathan leaving her and so I figured that is how my mom is feeling, and I suddenly felt horrible for leaving. Is it sad that I feel bad for following my own path because it hurts my mother?
So that is my current dillema, do I choose christmas with mother against her wishes, or do I go to europe and travel and by doing so not seeing my mom until June.
Inquisitively,
Aram the Garmo
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