Bodily Temptations The eyes of brown, The hair the same. His maddened looks Drive me insane. His cool caress, Those arms of steel, His nice warm touch, As if unreal. The sweetest voice, The nicest song. The nicest dressed. For dancing long, The finest feet. The craziest mind. And in the end, I may have him. | Stars Look at the stars, Aren’t they far? Can you believe That they can be sought? We can go hold them, We can go touch them, We can achieve them. But some just cant jump. I have been jumping Up to the sky Trying to reach The stars very high. Today I jumped In a brand new way, And found out It was better that day. I jumped up, And I felt a star. Heaven was near, But still very far. And so now I practice And try to go higher. Eventually I will, But for now im just tired. | Heaven Walk down Grab and pull Close up Scent of you Feel of you Taste of you Let go Smile Heaven |
All of these were written on 10 June 2004. So of course I thought I would look them up in my LJ and see what was happening in my life during that time to see why I was so exuberant about love. And then I went on a whole trip almost into my school years. So I'll give a quick background as to what was happening in Aram's life at this point so you know where I was in my life.
The 10th was the day right after I had my first date with a boy ever. We went laser tagging and then we went to a private location to makeout for a little while. He wanted more, but I wasn't willing to give it since it was only my first time. Then we felt the feel of exhilaration as we sped down the highway at over 100 mph with our windows rolled down. It was bliss.
Obviously, I was in an ecstatic moment in my life. I felt life could not get any better, and it probably hasn't gotten much better, but it has matured. I wait for the day this feeling returns, and I feel it almost has. I am feeling close to the same emotions as I was before, but I am currently not as artistic. I can't just sit and write poetry as I once did, instead I sit and create dance. It's a weird feeling creating art in the presence of lust. So of course as I am in a state of lust my gay side has been flowering like crazy. Talk about sadness though. Here I was last week stating how I was going to go straight and begin working on maths and actually fixing my life, but instead now I feel like jumping off the roof and doing a dance to my grave. I feel like expressing joy in a dance that no one has ever seen before. This is the time I should have created my dance piece because it would have turned out to be very good instead of the crap it ended up being.
So now back to my question of whether or not it is worth it to go back in life and see what our past was. I think it is very good. It allows us to remember things we usually do not recall. It shows us that those good days may be few and far between, but that they are so good that they are worth striving for. It shows us who we are and how we respond to those around us. It enlightens us to see how we have changed over time, whether we have matured and learned the things we intended or even accomplished the goals that we started. So I am off to recollect on my past and see what new things I should focus on. I hope my website will eventually relaunch so that the world can share in my hopes and dreams, but until then goodbye.
With artistic license,
-Aram the Garmo
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